Woe to You Oh Earth and Sea
for the Marketer sends the holiday with wrath
because he knows the time is short
Let him who have understanding
reckon the number of the holiday
for it is a human number
its number is Seven Four Two Thousand Eleven
The Independence Day holiday is upon us, when we declare ourselves independent from the evil tyranny of Great Britain for the hundred somethingth time, and we also declare our independence from not depending on fossil fuels and attending giant gatherings of like minded independence celebrators who are wholly, yet independently, celebratory of our Nation’s independence from a country which hasn’t really been much of a threat to anything besides those trying to avoid media coverage of Royal (yawn) Weddings for quite some time. These truths I hold to be fairly evident.
This weekend the DMZ will see many parades, holiday travelings, live music goings on (like the 80/35 Outdoors Musics and Other Stuff Festival), things being shot into the air and exploded forthright (forthright?), and gluttony of many different kinds. It is an exciting time, and should prove to be one of our drier weekends (unless you count all the sweaty, undulating masses celebrating the independence of independent musics).
Speaking of gluttony, here is your holiday weekend farmers’ market tacopocalypse menu offering, aptly entitled:
Holiday Weekend Farmers’ Market Tacopocalypse Menu Offering Of Independent Something
This weekend there is a little bit of a change in format, mostly due to some bulls&#t that transpired this week. Instead of our usual 5 varieties of taco flavorings, we have declared ourselves independent of convention and will be offering FOUR taco flavoring varieties. What are these TFV’s?
- Korean Braised Short Rib. Get it while you can.
- yo mamma. wait, that’s not right….
- Braised Pork Shoulder. Classic. Amazing. Even better than the…well, we better just let that one go also…
- Vegan Chorizo. If we didn’t tell you it was Vegan, you would be all like “oh blah blah blah vegetarians are so…I’M not vegetarian so I wouldn’t like…blah balh blah….” and then we would be all like “oh yeah, well that stuff’s totally Vegan bro” and then you would be like “wow, I couldn’t tell that wasn’t meat” and then you would cease to talk trash about eating Vegetarian in our presence. Truth.
- Bacon Chorizo. Yes, it only contains 100% Niman Ranch Bacon. That is the only meat involved in the cooking process. It will rule your life. It earned our Chef a small island nation (which he is skeptical of owning, as it would most likely be difficult to get in his cycling miles on a small island).
Also returning this week is the independently lauded Breakfast Thing.
What is the Breakfast Thing? It is Chihauhau cheese melted between two corn tortillas over a charcoal grill, topped with Niman Ranch Free Range Eggs, the Taco Flavored Topping of your choice, more cheese, some chopped up green things, and some Slaw. Because the Slaw is the Law.
Why would you get anything else for breakfast? The BT has been described as “life changing” so let it change your life…independently.
We were going to have a contest involving how many times some form of the word “independent” was used throughout this post, but I personally got independently sick of counting about…some time ago. If you have a correct answer and are being honest (no bs’ing) then you will get something free (or independent).