Saturday Morning Obscene Scene Recap Report

If you read our last post, you know about our new commitment to ending the aural obscenities spewed forth from the mouths of the Tacopocalypse staff.  If you were actually AT the Farmers’ Market this past Saturday, you bore witness to something even more obscene than obscenities: The enormous hunks of slab bacon stuffing the tortilla walls of our new BLT tacos.  Humans of all ages, shapes, sizes, and cholesterol levels threw caution and sense to the four winds and indulged in what could be the most feared food item the Des Moines Downtown Farmers’ Market has ever seen.

I would post a picture of this bacon, but it may actually violate some decency laws (not unlike our choice of words at the stand).

The Breakfast Thing also returned for it’s second successful week.  Judging by the reaction of new BT Likers and return Likers as well, this THING will be a permanent addition to the menu at the DTFM.  You are welcome.

I was thanked personally by a young lady human for serving vegan chorizo.  She had a bad experience at the Breakfast Burrito Stand (is there ever a good one?) in which she was informed that getting something vegetarian wasn’t an option there as all of the breakfast burritos were PRE MADE.  Ok, whooooooaaaaa, Blossom.  All you Buritto Likers out there are getting NOT ONLY pre-cooked bacon, crap pre-mix egg product, cold tortillas, and hornswaggled, but the burittos that you adore are PRE MADE?  Why would you do this to yourselves?  Would you rather have Niman Ranch Meats, Organic local veggies, Sheeder Farms eggs, hand pressed tortillas (ok, sometimes they DO end up getting a little cold. sorry), VEGAN CHORIZO, everything fresh and hand made by the people serving your food, you can talk to the Chef personally (and there actually is a chef, not some person orchestrating a pre-packaged re-heat operation), you can look west about ten feet and see the farmer which grew the greens on your tacos, I mean SERIOUSLY PEOPLE.  WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?  DITCH THE BURRITO HABIT.  GET DOWN WITH A BREAKFAST THING

Another young human female who is Gluten Intolerant, and a sort of long time fan of the cooking of yours truly, stopped by and had the first meal she has  had in four years at the DTFM.  Why?  Because everything we make is inherently gluten free.  Yes, we aren’t playing.  Here’s what she had to say:

Thank you for making gluten-free tacos.  Today= 1st time in 4 years that I have eaten anything but fruit @ #dtfm

That is what we like to hear, not necessarily the admittance of a culinarily unsatisfied past, but that we were able to accomadate someone who would otherwise be left out of the game.  Too many producers of food do not make an effort to include the “special needs” eaters (Celiac, lactose intolerant, vegetarian, vegan, etc), this is something we are always working towards changing.  Tacopocalypse strives for Gastronomic Equality.

Taco Likers, we just want to make you happy.  Like, REALLY happy.  Thank you for your support.

Sam

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6 thoughts on “Saturday Morning Obscene Scene Recap Report

  1. As with previous burrito rants, you refer to the burrito boyz, not the good stand next to The Royal Mile, correct? Also, you guys rock.

    • Yes. Anyone using the spelling “boyz” are probably perpetrating a culinary fraud. (not to be confused with Trailer Park Boyz, the amazing Canadian show)
      And we thank you for the compliment. We try to make good, honest food.

  2. Photographer from north central IA here. You should know, I keep saying every year that I’m going to make it to DTFM for artistic reasons as well as the shopping. Somehow I always get too busy on Saturdays to make the trek to DSM. Knowing you have an awesome taco stand, I’m determined that I *will* make it once this year, and probably bring my celiac mother along, because, well… I like my mother, and she deserves to have good food at DTFM.

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